In retrospect, I was pretty young when I began to question the concept of sex. In fact, I believe I was around the age of 12. My parents, thankfully, did not have to provide me with the whole birds and the bees talk and it was by images and word of mouth that I began to understand how sex was carried out. I was not grossed out by the concept of sex, but indifferent to it. I was not curious about it nor did I want it. Until I hit my high school years.... and thats a blog on a whole different subject.
Lana Alexis Marie Robertson was born on December 16, 2008 to a soldier and his high school sweetheart. She was not planned, but was wanted more than anything in the world. I was 20 years old at the time and felt the most confident I could ever be. As young as I was, I felt so prepared to take care of a little one. Fast forward three years and I swear my little girl can be smarter than me sometimes. I sometimes day dream about the day that she decides she wants to date and how my husband will be screening her potential suitor beforehand. Or how he'll be cleaning his gun upon him entering our house. These scenarios will replay in my head as I experience feelings of bittersweetness. I know she will date and I know she will eventually ask questions and I know we will have to explain to her the concept of sex and how to practice it safely.
Of course I want to act like a parent and not a friend, but I definitely do not want a sense of awkwardness. Who does? I think it will be a little weird for my husband to do the talking so I would rather take the initiative. I would begin by asking her how her school life is and if any boys like her. I would then address and forewarn her of the upcoming awkwardness but much needed conversation. I would probably start this conversation around the age of 12-13, so around the time that she is entering middle school. I would anticipate common terms like "ew, mom" or "gross" or "I know what sex is, can we not have this conversation?". But, none of those, hopefully, will deter me from my point. As much as I think she will understand the concept by that age, I would just press on how important it is and how special it would be if she remained a virgin until she got married. I would tell her that if she wanted to attain her goals and aspirations, that she needs to solely focus on that and that having a baby will only prolong her dreams. I would explain to her my sacrifices by getting married so young and having a baby at 20. The fact that I had to put my dreams on hold to become a mother and a wife. Believe me, I absolutely have no regrets. Of course, having sex does not always have to equal a baby, but I would also press on protection and the consequences of having sex casually.
I know that this would be too much information for a 12 year old to comprehend, but I hope that I can do it from a loving, understanding place. Even I am getting frazzled thinking about this!! Well! There's my scenario for the years to come. I am so not prepared but I have 12 years to get on it!
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